Back in August, I was talking with my neighbor and a mutual friend (as she was dropping off children for a playdate at the neighbor's).
They were both preparing their oldest daughters to leave the private school they had attended and attend our local school district's middle school.
I listened as they shared their own fears and excitement as well as that of their daughters.
We said goodbye and I hopped on the mower. As I mowed (which mowing is one of those uninterrupted times to have the ability to think about something more than 30 seconds), I found my thoughts drifting to when/if we would send our children to the public school, or even a private school. Would we stop homeschooling at some point? Are we going to need to send them to make sure they are getting the right subjects covered? What if I'm not teaching them everything!?!?
I felt myself becoming very anxious over the unknown - and having experienced this many times before in the case of school decisions, I knew I needed to give it to God.
Philippians 4:6 "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God."
I prayed that God would take away my fears, my worries and allow me to feel His Presence and Wisdom in this decision. I was quickly able to stop worrying and get on with mowing!
Later that day, I opened an email from a homeschooling website, that I cannot remember how I discovered 6 years ago, but I know now that it was totally the Lord's Hand.
The
Heart of Wisdom Blog
Psalm 90:12 "Teach us to number our days aright, that we may gain a heart of wisdom."
This site has helped me a lot since I first discovered it in 2004, and now, 6 years later, it was feeding me again.
Heart of Wisdom is a curriculum, but more than that, it is a homeschooling approach. And it is an approach that you can incorporate with any curriculum. The approach leads you into a passionate following of God, giving everything you have to Him and devoting it to Him. And out of that, your goals in regards to school will fall into line as you endeavor to gain a heart of wisdom.
I clicked over to the website from the email, and I searched the site, breathing in the encouragement and fulfillment behind my purpose. Then, I came across a post, entitled
"Biggest Mistake Made by Homeschoolers."
Right there, in the 2nd paragraph, God spoke to me through Robin,
"We can so easily get anxious about the academics that we miss wisdom."
Yes! I was getting so concerned about my kids learning "everything," but was missing the big picture of why we started to homeschool in the first place. I want my kids
to know God,
to desire to serve Him with their whole hearts and
to find their purpose through Him. When we have that goal, yes, everything will fall into place.
Now, I'm sure there are some that don't believe that, but that is where our hearts are. When we first made the decision to homeschool - it was a huge step of faith. And, now into our 5th year, it continues to be a huge step of faith. But I am a witness to the things the Lord has done in the lives of my family and I continue to trust His call for our lives until He calls us elsewhere.
Further down in the article, I came across this quote by A. W. Tozer,
"We are called to an everlasting preoccupation with God."
What a call! We want to encourage
our children to love God passionately – with all of their heart, soul, and mind.
Also from the article,
"We worry about state requirements but what does God require? God commands you to diligently teach your children His Word. Deuteronomy 6 says...And these words which I am commanding you this day shall be [first] in your [own] minds and hearts; [then] You shall whet and sharpen them so as to make them penetrate, and teach and impress them diligently upon the [minds and] hearts of your children…"
I had lost my focus and God brought me back to it. Sitting at my computer, devouring the articles on the Heart of Wisdom blog, I again recognized that call. The desire to create in my children, a hunger and thirst for God and His Word.
Because of this 'divine appointment' we have changed our focus. And I love that this divine appointment didn't occur in the middle of summer, where I had wasted time worrying - it happened the week before we started school. Just the perfect "summer continuing education credits" I needed!
I understand that not everyone feels called to homeschool their children, but it is the call for our family. It is my hope that you don't finish reading this thinking I believe homeschool is the only option; it is my hope to come away desiring to make God real in your children's lives and to pray and seek how He wants you to do that.